A tribute to hotness

I've seen him repeatedly in Alice Cooper's Constrictor shows, yet never realised how awesome-shit this guy was. I'm not talking about his mad talent; when someone mentions metal's top guitarists, Kane Roberts is always somewhere in my list. I'm talking about those insanely chiselled features and impossibly perfect jaw, those squeezed-too-tight leather pants and rich head of curls.

He's almost too good to be true.

....holy fuuuUUUCCKKKK.

Yeah, yeah so that album cover was way back in '91. But I can bet you that any man with that immoveably awesome bone structure will still have manly handsomeness spilling out his ears 20 years down the road. Now hopefully he's kept the body...

THAT body.

Or, well, a more modestly proportioned but equally firm version.

To tell ya the truth, I've never gone for that uber buff thing; the bulging Hulk-men adorning Men's Fitness mags turn me off. I prefer my men reasonably toned than steroid-stuffed. (Not that I'm accusing Mr Roberts of 'roids or other potentially harmful substances.) But when I look at that face, and that gorgeous hair, and that even more gorgeous guitar that looks like it could shoot out real bullets....who gives a shit about an oversized bicep?

'I will squeeze you to death with my leather-clad sexiness.'

Granted, I was probably too busy watching Alice tear a baby's head off to pay attention to that amazing guitarist shredding the hell out of every song. I heard the riffs, but I should've seen the man behind it. Oh well. Never too late to appreciate a good thing. This man is not only a metal maestro; he is shameless eye candy. Leather-wrapped, steel-studded, flame-shootin' candy.

Now adorning my computer desktop!