for my grandfather

~


Where have I put my memories?
The same place as my dentures?
Where have I put the keys
To those dusty little drawers?

What is the time, familiar face?
I know you; or knew you. Didn’t I?
What year is it, friend or stranger?
Didn’t I use to be a dancer?

Where are the scattered brain cells
My body has forgotten?
Why is my mind locked out of my head?
Is it lost or simply dead?

Each day feels old and used before
Like long, recycled stories.
Where did I put my dentures?
The same place as my memories?



~

Lately

i am scattered.

my head is everywhere and nowhere. my thoughts are neurons blown apart from their nucleus like so much dandelion fluff.

i need an anchor. i need a single thought or act to hold my day together. before i lose it altogether.

sometimes i frighten myself. although this is nothing new. i have always been a freak - to myself and to others. some people learn to love me for it (or despite it). some find it charming a few are just scared off. not that i need to care about those.

still, it would be nice to be somewhat normal for a day. (or subnormal. is that an acceptable state of mind?)

let me be grounded, even as i dream.

let my next recollection be more than a shattered memory.

let me stop stumbling.