Hello, folks. This post could potentially damage my career, or not, depending on whether this thing even gets read at all. I have exactly 6 followers - that's more than one hand; woohoo! - but then again, I know quite a few people who stalk bloggers silently and invisibly. So.
Anti-Aging Products. Ladies, who wants to talk about their age? No? Honestly? Ma'am, you may look 30 but let's not kid ourselves. GETTING OLD IS WRONG! It is not enough to have healthy skin. Let's get real. Let's get immortalised, cryogenised, sanitised and Botoxised. Who knew you could look like a Photoshop image minus the toxins? Well Now You Can!
According to a recent advertorial (This Just In!) "The passing of time is every woman’s worst enemy." No shit, Sherlock. Ain't the passing of time every mortal's worst enemy? Do you wanna die? I don't. But the point is this: the ad ain't just telling you to make yourself happy by having fewer lines - if that rocks your boat, by all means. No, the ad is telling you that Aging Is Now Your Worst Enemy even if it wasn't five minutes before. Is that hammered into your pathetic geriatric skull yet? Good! Now we can sell you some creams.
A certain accomplished Asian celebrity has already been sold. Sold and bought. For copious amounts of money (hell, why not?) to spout lines that aren't hers about why W.A.W.: Wrinkles Are Wrong. She goes on to talk, in authentic-looking quote marks, about a miracle product or two that allows you ladies to be just as radiant if not as wealthy as her. Because wealth, fame, talent and a trim booty just ain't worth a crap without 20-year-old skin.
Here's some trivia. I found out about two years ago that it is perfectly legal to have brand ambassadors say whatever you want them to in printed materials (or situations where the actual ambassador is not present) without them ever having said it. "SHITE. You mean my dentist didn't really say those things about the toothbrush I've been using for five years?" Guess you'll have to ask him in person eh?
Of course, I shouldn't be saying this. I'm in bloody advertising. But here's what I do love about advertising: giving people ways to feel good. I enjoy getting into people's minds, finding out what they want, what they need from a brand. (Is it manipulative? Perhaps. Come on; if you hated it, you wouldn't buy it. Don't look at me that way.) What I don't enjoy is telling people that This is Wrong and This is Right. "What you thought of as annoying but natural is, in fact, Bollocks!"
But what's even sadder is that thousands of readers are gonna eat it up. If not consciously, then in the back of their minds that already worry about how they no longer look like they left school yesterday. Hmm. Not exactly a mood-lifter. But why lift your mood when you can lift your face?
A face unlined is a life unlived. And now there are products that will eliminate the evidence. To wipe out all traces of what I have been through is like a kick in the head. A facial concussion that denies you ever laughed, cried, made love, sang, smoked pot, baked in the sun, went crazy at a rock show, nicked your chin in a friendly fight.
What will it take to make a change? Well, if we can simultaneously and collectively ignore all calls to look younger and instead look great - two things that should not be confused - I think the world might actually tilt on its axis a little bit. Y'know, from the weight of women NOT reaching for the nearest miracle anti-aging cream. Or the card with Dr Botox's number on it.
Now at this point, some smart-ass will point out that for all my ideals, I just breached some serious ethics by speaking against brands that we are helping to endorse. But look; it's marketing. Marketing is about getting people to buy, think or react. Success depends on the reaction of the consumer. Am I committing a crime of contradiction? Or am I reacting as a consumer?
But heck. Who am I to talk, you ask! I turn 25 this November. By the time I reach my 40th November, I might be singing a different tune. But for now, here's something from Mark Twain - a dead guy who lived well.
"Life is short. Break the rules, forgive quickly, kiss slowly, laugh uncontrollably, and
never regret anything that makes you smile."
~ ~ ~
Scars are evidence that you have fought, and lived.
Serpent 5:11
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