Wednesday, September 1, 2010

What The Serpent Said

"So it was that with much arse-kicking courtesy of the winged, flame wielding bouncers, the troublemakers were ousted from Club Eden."

The sinuous serpent rippled its ribs and pondered a while.

"I thought, well there goes the life of the party," it hissed. "And a whole bunch of future incestuous offspring with them, too. Where's the fun now?"

"Don't tempt me," said Lilith in her velvety ancient voice.

"They'll likely have sex, too. A lot of it. Although the fig leaves might get in the way for a while. And -- oh, here comes the Don."

The blinding presence of the Lord Almighty descended the epic marble staircase of Eden all the way into the lush green grass of Paradise Lounge. His eyes fell upon the lovely slithering being before Him.

A giant finger pushed itself into the serpent's face.

"GET OUT, BETRAYER."

"Oooooh the drama," Lilith murmured.

"Evening, Milord. What a beautiful day it is in Paradise."

"DID YOU NOT HEAR ME?"

The reptile's silver-lidded eyes narrowed. Now He was just being rude. That, on top of the ridiculous rules about non-sexual nudity and fruit-sharing, was about all the serpent could take. With a sharp intake of breath,it spoke its final words in Eden:

"Why don't you make me?"

4 comments:

  1. That was awesome. Did you write that?

    It was very Pratchett..

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  2. hi Primus! yeah i did.

    that's a big-ass compliment dude...and Pratchett being one of my alltime fave authors too.

    hey where r u now, & what u up to? :)

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  3. well i meant it. it was great.

    And Pratchett's one of my favourites as well. Guys like him, Neil Gaiman and Douglas Adams are kings in my little world.

    as for what i am doing;

    having avoided prison and deportation, i now work in Mccann Erickson.

    yourself?

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  4. ah ok! hope you're having fun at McCann. one of my pals BeeNee is there also, a young writer; u know her? she's a real sweetheart.

    I'm still at Grey but will be moving to LB around end of this October. :) hopefully i can follow in your footsteps. in the 'avoiding prison & deportation' area, that is.

    ReplyDelete